First Post in the New New Economy

Where do I begin?

The time I've spent wondering if, whether or what I should write is unbelieveable.  So I might as well get started.  What else have I got to do with my time these days.

It's been two weeks now since the boy was laid off and he hasn't done much to find a job.  C, my roommate, hasn't worked more than 10 hours in 2 months.  So here I am working just a few days a month trying to support us all.  One day soon the IRS will come calling wanting back taxes that I STILL cant' afford to pay.

The Leather Man has not been having very many adventures lately.  Finding myself back in an unexciting, monogamous relationship and being stressed out about lack of work and the failing economy has not helped much.

My friend Eric gave me a Pup cage and a St. Andrew's Cross a couple weeks ago.  I thought we might get a few days of fun out of them before the novelty wore off, but no dice.  I tried to encourage playing with them, but was shot down once again.

The boy informed me that it's too cold in the bedroom.  I suggested turning up the heat for a couple hours, but he wasn't going for it.  It is definitely the winter of my discontent.  It's freezing outside so I feel trapped in the house and in trying to save money on heating bills, it's freezing inside too.

So there's a half-setup St. Andrew's cross in the middle of the bedroom.  Every time I walk by and look at it, it depresses me.  It just makes the room look more messy and reminds me how I'm not really having any kind of sex these days.

The boy and I just beat each other off once in a while, and that's about the extent of it.  I'm not sure why I'm not interested in doing more.  I guess I'm tired of pushing stuff on him, instead of being with someone who doesn't seem to be really interested.

I need to talk to him about opening up our relationshipo, but I keep putting it off.  From the beginning I told him that I did not want to be monogamous, but I let him talk me into trying it.  I need to tell him that I'm either going to do it with him or without him.  He could do it with me and we could have some fun.  But I'm not sure he'll be able to deal with that.